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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22435345">Back In Time 2 - Reset</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/aschicca/pseuds/aschicca'>aschicca</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Back In Time [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Changing the past, F/M, Humor, M/M, No actual threesome, Not Canon Compliant, Pining, Time Travel, a touch of angst, can be read as standalone, is in fact a standalone, playful mentions of threesomes, sorry - Freeform</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-01-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-01-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-04-28 09:55:35</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>7,837</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22435345</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/aschicca/pseuds/aschicca</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Stepping through a door offers Sirius the chance to relive his life and change its course. Most of it changes for the better but something might still need a little time to fix itself…</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Remus Lupin/OFC (mentions mostly offscreen), Sirius Black/Remus Lupin</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Back In Time [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1607698</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>51</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Back In Time 2 - Reset</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This is the second story in a small universe that I called Back in Time. I set out to write just one story, to be honest, but at some point it went into an unforeseen direction and the first part felt wholly unconnected with the second. So I split them and they became two separate stories.</p><p>This second one is a lot more fun and light-hearted than the first, though of course there’s still a smidge of angst because I simply can’t help it, and it’s a complete AU. Canon is no more here. Also, if you read the first story (though you don’t need to in order to read this one,) you’ll find that a character named there is now featured in this one, too, and in a more relevant way. It’s possible, I believe, to still guess where the two stories were joined and how I’d initially wanted them to go if they’d stayed that way. </p><p>The 'playful hints at threesomes' tag isn’t indicative of a threesome relationship or anything. It’s just relative to a series of playful hints among close friends. I don’t really mind the idea to be honest, but I never intended to write about it.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>When he stepped through The Veil, or better yet when he was thrown into it by the Stunning Spell his mad cousin hit him with, Sirius immediately found himself standing in a big open space. Three doors stood before him and it felt as if something was inviting him to choose one, open it, and face whatever expected him on the other side. </p><p>Unfortunately, Sirius’s feet refused to move. He tried over and over to step forward but his body seemed frozen and he was stuck. Frustration over his immobility joined in with the grief that he still felt for leaving Remus and Harry behind, and Sirius didn’t even try to control the anger that dangerous combination sparked inside him.</p><p>“I can’t bloody move!” He raged, yelling at the top of his lungs while still trying with all his might to push his own body forward. “I need help! Can anyone hear me?”</p><p>Someone, or <i>something</i>, obviously did and decided to answer his cry because suddenly Sirius’s mind begun filling with a multitude of information, and the onslaught forced him to close his eyes grimacing in pain. His brain rapidly absorbed everything he needed to know but the process hurt like hell. Luckily, it was over soon and Sirius’s eyes shot open.</p><p>The first thing that Sirius learned was that to have not one, not two, but three doors to choose from was unusual, unique even. Some of the creatures, human or otherwise, that passed through The Veil only had one option and it wasn’t always a pleasant one. Few were presented with two doors, one to the Beyond and the other to the Pit and, while it might seem like madness for someone to voluntarily choose damnation, something in the creature’s character made it so that they were offered such a choice.</p><p>The third door, the one that Sirius himself saw in front of his eyes, was the rarest choice to be presented with. It offered the possibility to go back in time, live one’s life again, and have some sort of a second chance. The catch would be that, by choosing this option, the creature would retain no memory of the life they’d previously lived and so it was quite possible for them to walk on the exact same path. If that happened, the endeavour would be fruitless and they would some day just circle back inside The Veil: This second time, though, there wouldn’t be a third door and they would either be faced with a single one, or given the choice of two.</p><p>Sirius didn’t hesitate, not even for a second. He walked resolutely to the third door, opened it, and stepped back into the past. He knew, he was certain somehow, that this time he would get a different result.</p><p>This time Sirius would find himself living another life.</p><p>*<br/>
Sirius would simply never know: He would never know about a time when he lost everything and everyone he held dear and had to live a life of torture and pain; he would never remember about the small, too small, amount of time when he thought he might have a second chance and met his ending by Bellatrix’s hand instead. </p><p>Sirius would never know that he was offered a choice and that he, as it turned out, made the right one.</p><p>Most of all, Sirius would never even suspect that one tiny little detail about a chance encounter would stick with him and, in time, would lead to a reality that was completely different from the one he had lived since then. </p><p>The world he’d left behind was gone, erased alongside everything and everyone that had lived in it, and Sirius would never know about it.</p><p>*</p><p>One night, merely a year after they left Hogwarts, Sirius Black decided not to go home from the pub where he’d spent time with James Potter. He went for a walk, took a different route from the one he usually walked home on, and caught a glimpse of someone who, to Sirius’s knowledge, was supposed to be in bed recuperating from a nasty fall. </p><p>Skele-Gro was a bitch to go through and so no one thought to question Peter Pettigrew when he claimed a couple of broken ribs and missed the Order meeting, and the night out with James and Sirius that followed it.</p><p>Yet, there Peter was, walking fast and looking around shiftily. Sirius immediately knew that he had to follow him, sure that his friend had a good explanation for the lie. Hell, maybe he was meeting a girl behind Mary McDonald’s back! And wouldn’t it be fun to tease him about it? Sirius simply had to get to the bottom of it.</p><p>When he saw Peter entering a vacant building, the same one that Moody marked as a known Death Eaters’ meeting place in their last Auror debriefing, Sirius’s blood froze in his veins. Why was Peter there? What was he doing? He couldn’t be betraying them, could he? It was unfathomable.</p><p>Sirius waited outside the building all night but Peter never came out of it, and when he finally decided to go check inside he couldn’t see evidence of any meeting at all taking place. Had he dreamed it all? Had Sirius truly been so drunk that he imagined Peter? Or did he simply follow someone else, someone that resembled Peter? There was, unfortunately, no way of knowing.</p><p>From that day on, though, Sirius watched Peter like a hawk and lived his life with his mind always half suspicious of everything Peter said or did. It made him feel guilty to doubt one of his closest friends, but Sirius couldn’t squash the nagging feeling at the back of his mind that told him something wasn’t adding up.</p><p>As it turned out he was right because, sadly, Peter repeated all the mistakes he’d made in a past that now belonged to a different reality, and joined Voldemort’s ranks. This time, though, Sirius didn’t let him out of his sight, didn’t believe his excuses, and followed him every time Peter disappeared or pretended he couldn’t attend a meeting. </p><p>This time, Sirius understood from the start what Peter was doing, but he didn’t tell anybody else.</p><p>He was sure that sooner or later they would be faced with the consequences of Peter’s betrayal, so Sirius watched and waited for the moment when he could use his knowledge to his own advantage, and that of his friends. When the fateful day would come, Sirius wanted to be ready and sure to be in a vantage position.</p><p>When Voldemort decided that James’s and Lily’s infant son, Harry, was the one who would bring forth his own demise thus setting out to kill him, Sirius understood that his moment had come.</p><p>He spoke to James and told him everything he’d done and everything he knew about Peter. Together, they devised a plan. Dumbledore had already suggested to the Potters that they go into deep hiding and choose a Secret Keeper to that effect, so Sirius and James decided that they would ask Peter to be Secret Keeper but they’d only pretend to perform the ritual. Knowing what Peter would do with the knowledge of their hiding place, James, Lily, and Sirius lay in wait for Voldemort to come to Godric’s Hollow and, together with Dumbledore and the other members of the Order, they dealt him the final blow.</p><p>With the help of a paper written by Horace Slughorn that Dumbledore received by owl just a month prior, they were able to beat Lord Voldemort: The Dark Wizard died in Godric’s Hollow the night of Halloween 1981 and the war was ultimately fought and won that same night.</p><p>*</p><p>With past happenings so fundamentally altered, the reality Sirius now lived in changed for the better in every respect. </p><p>Save one, perhaps.</p><p>During their seventh year in Hogwarts, Remus Lupin, hopelessly in love with Sirius but convinced by then that his affection was one-sided, let himself be convinced by James to ask out the lovely Cath Mulligan. She was a Ravenclaw Prefect and she’d been in love with Remus since the first month they’d patrolled together. Remus liked being with her and, though he’d hoped for a while that Sirius would react badly to him dating her only to be disappointed when he never did, Remus had to admit that Cath’s company suited him perfectly.</p><p>Just out of school, Cath told Remus that she had family in the United States that would employ him despite his werewolf nature, and Remus knew he couldn’t let this opportunity pass him by. In a fit of gratitude and affection, he proposed to Cath and they got married right before they left the country.</p><p>In this new reality, after they left Hogwarts, Remus Lupin and Sirius Black never saw one another again.</p><p>***</p><p>On a cloudy day of March in 1979, Remus Lupin stood at the altar waiting for his bride to appear. He was surrounded by his friends and, though Remus debated with himself for weeks about asking him, Sirius Black stood at his side and served as his Best Man. Remus knew he should have asked James, or even Peter, but in the end he wasn’t able to stop himself from cornering Sirius one day and asking him to stand at his side while he got married to Cath.</p><p>It was torture for Remus, who couldn’t help but wish things had worked out differently for him and Sirius had returned his feelings so that he could be marrying him that day. </p><p>Cath was lovely and she brought with her the chance of a life that Remus could never have in England. Her uncle, Bartholomew Mulligan, owned a small publishing house in Boston and he was willing to employ Remus as an editor despite his ‘furry little problem’. Remus knew it was all due to Cath and he was grateful to and for her; he loved her in a way, she was just no match for Sirius. But then again, for Remus no one could ever be.</p><p>Sirius wasn’t interested, though. Not in Remus, not that way. In the end, the only chance for Remus to build a life for himself and find some measure of happiness was Cath. It wouldn’t be perfect happiness, no, but it would be something.</p><p>The ceremony passed in a flash, it seemed to Remus, and so did the rest of the day. If he had to be honest with himself, Remus would have to admit to not having a clear recollection of his wedding day. Only one thing was fixed indelebly in his mind: At some point, Sirius took his hand and they danced together. Remus didn’t know if it had been because of a dare or as the result of too much wine, but he clearly recalled how it felt to hold Sirius close while they slow-danced, and how intoxicating the smell of his Best Man was. </p><p>People around them were clapping and laughing but all Remus could focus on were Sirius’s eyes that were filled with a confusing mix of emotions and left Remus trembling and shaken. Before he could try and unravel them, though, the music stopped and Sirius grinned.</p><p>“Be happy, Moons,” he said, clasping Remus’s shoulders. “That’s all I’ve ever wanted for you.”</p><p>Remus nodded, clutching at Sirius’s robe, but he didn’t trust his voice so he didn’t reply. He didn’t say anything, and that was the last time he talked to Sirius.</p><p>They lost sight of one another for the rest of the evening, and Remus only saw Sirius again when it was time for him and Cath to take the Portkey to Boston. </p><p>They waved at each other from afar and Remus could have sworn he saw a tear in Sirius’s eyes. But it was too late to make sure: His own hand was already holding the handle of the cup that would transport him and his new wife to America, and the world twirled.</p><p>*</p><p>When news of the war reached him, Remus was just starting his new life. </p><p>He immediately took to his job and he loved the little house in the suburbs he and Cath bought. It was an adjustment, of course, but not an unpleasant one. Still, as soon as he was informed of how bad things were going in the UK, Remus promptly decided to go back and help his friends. Cath didn’t want him to go, but he was determined: He wouldn’t stand back and watch his best friends fight a war that could result in their deaths.</p><p>Unfortunately for Remus, the US Ministry of Magic closed off any and every communication and travel to and from the UK. They didn’t want to even risk the chance of Voldemort winning his war and moving on to the US, and they took every precaution to make sure they were shielded from such danger. They didn’t want a repeat of everything that happened when they had to deal with Grindelwald.</p><p>Remus pleaded for an exception but his voice went unheard: He was denied any chance of going back to his home country and could only watch from afar and scramble to find any scrap of news that he could about the war.</p><p>Hearing about Voldemort’s death and about the prominent role James, Sirius, and Lily had in the end of the war, filled Remus with relief but also with shame for not being there with them. He was crushed upon hearing of Peter’s fate too and, as soon as the Ministry lifted the ban, Remus more than once tried to write letters to his friends. </p><p>He really tried. He sat down, day after day, held his quill and stared at his parchment willing himself to put ink to the paper, but he constantly failed to find the right words. </p><p>In time, he stopped trying.</p><p>Years passed, and Remus kept himself busy not only with his work but by volunteering to be among the first werewolves to experiment the effects of the Wolfsbane Potion. The concoction made him quite sick at first and he was lucky that because of his job as an editor he was able to work from home, too. Cath was terrified for him and insisted he stop taking part in the trials, but Remus held strong: If the effects promised by the potion could really ease the transformation to the point of lessening his sufferings and allowing him to retain his conscious mind, Remus simply had to persevere and to hell with the side-effects he was experiencing.</p><p>As it turned out, Remus’s pains and that of the other volunteers were repaid tenfold when Potion Masters were finally able to refine the Wolfsbane and its use: By the end of the trials, a werewolf under the effect of the potion wouldn’t have to change at all; his or her body wouldn’t break and reassemble as it had done in the past, but they would simply experience the same sickness that was usually felt because of a nasty bout of the common flu. Of course, being sweaty, feverish, and with aching bones was a vast improvement to the horrifying ordeal the werewolves had suffered before. </p><p>Most importantly, their minds would be just a little clouded but would still be their own: There wouldn’t be any danger of them attacking loved ones under the influence of the moon because they would always know who they had in front of them.</p><p>However, the wolf was still inside and it still made its presence known. There was nothing the Wolfsbane could do to prevent the human from feeling the urges, the violence, and the needs of the wolf. </p><p>In Remus’s case, that meant dealing with a pained, wounded wolf that howled inside his head every cycle longing for its mate. </p><p>Longing for Sirius.</p><p>***</p><p>In the years that passed, Sirius’s life also moved on and he was satisfied with it. The fact that everyone else in his family was either dead or serving a life sentence in Azkaban made Sirius the only heir to the Black fortune so, after he and James left the Auror corp because the fight they’d seen had been more than enough for them, Sirius had the choice of never working a day in his life again if he didn’t want to. Yet, he still let himself be convinced by James’s pitch and, together, they opened a shop in Diagon Alley that dealt with everything related to Quidditch: From brooms to snitches, you could always be sure to find what you were looking for at <i>Potter’s and Black’s Quidditch Mania</i>. </p><p>In just a couple of years, their shop became one of the most successful in the Alley, and Harry happily and proudly worked with them every summer when he was home from Hogwarts. </p><p>The only drawback was that their shop was door to door with Snape’s Apothecary, and that meant Sirius was forced to restrain himself whenever they needed to deal with Snape. Or better yet, James needed to be the responsible one and restrain Sirius.</p><p>The endeavour usually went as well as it always had in school, which was to say it went pretty poorly.</p><p>Severus Snape had been instrumental in the fight against Voldemort because he’d been the one to reveal to Dumbledore the Dark Wizard’s intention of killing Harry Potter thus allowing for the Order’s plan to be put into motion. For that reason, his former crimes as a Death Eater had been forgiven and he didn’t have to spend a single day in Azkaban. Still, despite his service, neither Sirius nor James ever warmed up to Snape, and the distaste was more than mutual.</p><p>As fate would have it, though, when Sirius caught a severe case of the flu right before him and James were scheduled to meet with an important contact of theirs that would help them sign a very lucrative contract for the shop, he was forced to ask Snape for help. It didn’t matter how tense their relationship was, there was no denying that Snape was one of the best Potion Masters in the country.</p><p>The potion tasted foul and smelled even worse, but it was brewed especially for Sirius and was supposed to help him get over his illness in a couple of days instead of a full week. </p><p>“He poisoned me, I tell you!” Sirius shouted, or tried to since his throat was on fire, twelve hours after drinking Snape’s potion. “This isn’t helping me heal faster, it’s <i>killing</i> me faster!”</p><p>Lily Evans Potter rolled her eyes from her position at the entrance of Sirius’s bedroom, but her husband looked concerned.</p><p>“He’s burning up, Lils. And his face is spotty and red! This can’t be good, can it?” James worried, and Sirius nodded gravelly.</p><p>“‘S not good! ‘S not! ‘M dying!”</p><p>“Oh just stop it, you two. Sirius, you’re not dying so quit whining; and James, darling, you asked Severus to brew something that would heal Sirius up quickly. What did you think would happen? The fever still needs to run its course, doesn’t matter if it takes a week or a single day! You two really weren’t expecting this?” Lily asked, cocking her head.</p><p>“You knew?” Sirius croaked, and James put his hands up.</p><p>“No! Sniv… uhm… Snape didn’t say!” James hastily kept himself from using the mocking nickname when he caught Lily’s glare. “I didn’t know you would feel the full effects of this bug in the space of a few hours… He didn’t tell me!”</p><p>“Bet he’s laughing himself sick right now,” Sirius’s eyes closed into slits. “I’ll stop him laughing, you just wait. I’ll enchant a bludger to constantly beat on the wall adjacent to his shop and that will drive him mad while he’s working on his poisonous stuff! I’ll have my revenge!”</p><p>“Sirius Black! You will do nothing of the sort, you hear me?” Lily took one step inside the bedroom. “Don’t even let me hear you think about pestering someone who did you a favour!” </p><p>“You call this a favour?” James gaped. “Look at him! He’s a furnace and his face is all sweaty and splotchy! His hair is as greasy as Snape’s now, and he’s been constantly coughing and shivering. He’s disgusting!”</p><p>“Thank you, Prongs. Knew I could count on you to make me feel better,” Sirius deadpanned.  </p><p>James waved a hand at him and hissed, “Shut up, I’m defending you! Fighting for your right to enchant that bludger!”</p><p>Sirius thought on it for a second, then nodded gesturing for James to continue.</p><p>Lily sighed. </p><p>“Why me?” She whispered pained looking up at the ceiling, then turned the full force of her glare on her husband and his best friend. “Did you two forget who I am? Do you think you can calmly discuss pranks, revenge, and illegal magic in front of me? I’m the bloody Minister of Magic, you idiots! Besides, Severus has done nothing wrong. If Sirius is feeling like hell it’s because he couldn’t wait for the fever to run its rightful course. Now shut up, James, and let’s leave him to rest. He’ll be right as rain by tomorrow evening, you’ll see.”</p><p>“Who voted for her?” Sirius whispered, and James shrugged.</p><p>“You two organized and founded my campaign, you toerags,” Lily growled. </p><p>“Of course we did, sweetheart. First woman to become Minister of Magic. Only you could,” James smiled, conciliatory, then slapped Sirius’s leg on top of the layers of blankets and nodded towards Lily.</p><p>“Don’t mind me, Lils,” Sirius said. “I’m dying, remember?”</p><p>“You’re not <i>dying</i>! Although, if the poison… I mean, <i>potion</i> doesn’t kill you, I might!” Lily told him, hiding a smile.</p><p>“Did she say poison?”</p><p>“Right! Time to go! We’ll leave you to rest,” James abruptly sat up and guided his wife outside.</p><p>“Prongs? Did she say <i>poison</i>? Oi!”</p><p>*</p><p>The following day, Sirius was already feeling better. He would be damned before he admitted it but Snape’s potion really worked. His fever broke that morning and he was even able to eat some soup and some bread. </p><p>Wandering around the house, sure he’d go mad if he had to stay in his bedroom a moment more, Sirius decided to go sit in the main parlour. He had wrapped a blanket around his body for warmth but it fell off his shoulders as soon as he entered the room, so Sirius had to carefully bent to pick it up. In doing that, he realised that there was a book underneath the table.</p><p>“How did that get there?” </p><p>Sirius picked up the book along with the blanket and studied the cover. It was a Muggle novel that Sirius couldn’t remember ever reading before so he decided he might as well give it a go.</p><p>He sat on the sofa, propped his back against the arm so that he could rest his legs on the cushions, spread the blanket over himself, and opened the book. An old photograph fell out of it and Sirius caught it before it reached the ground. </p><p>He looked at it and gasped. The picture had been taken with a Muggle camera so it didn’t move but, in fairness, there was no need for movements: It pierced Sirius’s heart in its stillness anyway. </p><p>In the photo, Sirius and Remus were fast asleep and they were leaning onto each other. Sirius’s head was on Remus’s shoulder while Remus’s own rested on Sirius’s, and for some reason Remus’s hand was placed in what looked like quite the possessive hold on top of Sirius’s leg. </p><p>They didn’t look like two friends who’d drunk too much and fell asleep on top of each other. They looked like lovers. They looked like they were used to sleeping curled around one another, their closeness plain for everyone to see.</p><p>“How did I not…” Sirius trailed off, and his fingers gently caressed Remus’s image.</p><p>It wasn’t like Sirius never had romantic feelings for Remus, quite the contrary; but he’d suppressed them when he was still at school for fear of ruining their friendship and, Sirius could admit it now, because he still hadn’t been able to come to terms with his own bisexuality. Those same feelings briefly resurfaced when they danced together at Remus’s wedding, but Sirius was forced to squash them down again because Remus was married by then. </p><p>Sirius suddenly wondered if he could try to give them a chance now. He wouldn’t act on his feelings if Remus was still happily married to Cath, of course, but what if he wasn’t anymore? What if there was a chance for them?</p><p>In any case, watching the picture made Sirius so nostalgic that he knew he wouldn’t be able to rest until he brought Remus back in his life, in whatever capacity.</p><p>Even if they would never be anything but friends, Sirius needed to find Remus again.</p><p>*</p><p>“But we haven’t heard from Remus in almost two decades! First with the war, and then with everything that happened in our lives and, I suppose, in his… We basically just let time pass and never thought to re-connect again. I don’t know how we can go about doing it now…” Lily mused the following day, after Sirius told her and James about his plans for Remus.</p><p>“Yes, and would he even want to hear from us?” James added. “It’s not like he couldn’t have tried to contact us himself! If he didn’t, maybe he’s better off without us…”</p><p>Sirius sighed. “I don’t know, Prongs. I really don’t. I just can’t let the chance to find him pass me by. I miss him! I think I’ve been missing him all these years… I mean… Don’t you?”</p><p>James nodded, nostalgia softening his features. “I do, yeah… Good old Moony, why did we let so much time pass?”</p><p>Ever the practical one, Lily suggested that they stop talking about it and do something. “Write to him, Sirius. Ask him if he would like to see you, us, everyone… Tell him we miss him and that I want to kick his arse for not keeping in contact himself!”</p><p>“Yes, Madam Minister,” Sirius grinned, and Lily stuck her tongue out at him. </p><p>Lily always sort of forgot how to be the mature one when she was around him, and it was something of a badge of honour for Sirius.</p><p>*</p><p>Remus’s life settled and he became a proud, valued member of his community. He and his wife never had kids so, when Cath died as a result of an accident in the laboratory of the school she worked at, Remus sold the house that had been their own and moved into a small flat in the city. He lived alone and was uninterested in finding someone else to share his life with; of course, that didn’t mean he was celibate. Remus had flings with women and men alike but he never brought anyone back to his place. His flat was his own private space and very few people were welcome to visit.</p><p>Coming home from work one day, Remus found a stack of letters on his windowsill. He picked them up, threw them on a table near the door, then went to take a shower. He cooked and ate dinner, watched a bit of Muggle television, then decided to treat himself to some ice-cream. </p><p>On his way back from the kitchen, his eye landed on the mail he dismissed earlier and he stopped to pick it up. Holding the ice-cream filled bowl in one hand and his letters in the other, Remus walked back to the sofa, sat, and started skimming his corrispondence. The name “Black” caught his eye and Remus was so startled that he dropped the ice-cream on the floor.</p><p>“Bugger!” </p><p>With a flick of his wand, Remus cleaned everything up and sent the bowl flying back in the kitchen. With that taken care of, he quickly abandoned the rest of his mail and picked up the letter that just had to be from Sirius.</p><p>It was, and Remus opened it with trembling hands.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
    <i>Hey, Remus,</i>
  </p>
  <p>
    <i>Long time no see, uh? Or well, write. Or read since you’re reading this. Bugger, I’m making a mess of things, aren’t I? Note: consider revising this.</i>
  </p>
</div>Remus laughed out loud. Some things never changed, did they? Sirius had always been a rambler and he always would be. Also, he was so impatient that, Remus was sure, he never even re-read the letter after he finished writing it, let alone revised it.<div class="center">
  <p>
    <i>I know we lost touch, and I know I’m partly to blame for this. Though, you could have written yourself, you know? But anyway… not here to play the blame game. It sucks that we never saw one another again and I think it’s time we fix that, what do you say? </i>
  </p>
  <p>
    <i>Merlin, I’ve missed you! More than I realised I think, since just writing this now is filling me with longing and I’d like to kick myself for not doing it sooner.</i></p>
  <p>
    <i></i>
  </p>
  <p>
    <i></i>
  </p>
  <p><i>How are you, Moony? Still married? Kids? How’s life in the States? </i>
  </p>
  <p><i>Me, I’m good. Never married, still living in Grimmauld Place (though now it’s actually a house and not one of the torture chambers of the Pit,) and I work with James. We have a shop in Diagon Alley: </i>Potter’s and Black’s Quidditch Mania<i>. </i></p>
  <p>
    <i>Are you surprised? Thought not. It’s brilliant, mate! You should really see it…</i>
  </p>
  <p>
    <i>Oh! And do you know? Lily is Minister of Magic! Be afraid…be very afraid. Ha! We always said she would rule the world one day, didn’t we? Well, we were right Moony, my dear fellow.</i>
  </p>
  <p><i>And now for the real reason I’m writing to you… I’d like to see you, Remus. James and Lily, too… And Harry! He has the map now, you know? And he would love to meet Messer Moony. Of course, we all would… well, </i>I<i> would love it if you could maybe come back here… I can send you… I can… Blimey please don’t be angry at me for this, I don’t mean anything! I just… I can pay for a private Portkey whenever you want so you won’t have to wait for a public one. But I’m not implying that you can’t pay for one yourself! I just… I suck at this. Okay? I suck, and you know it. </i></p>
  <p>
    <i>If you’re not thinking about hexing me for this, will you let me know if you’re at least willing to come? Or I suppose I could come there, if you want. Let’s meet so you can hex me in person, how’s that?</i>
  </p>
  <p>
    <i>Write back, okay? Will you write back, Moony? Please?</i>
  </p>
  <p>
    <i>I miss you. I do…<br/>
Padfoot.</i>
  </p>
</div>Remus wasn’t sure his heart could take much more. Reading Sirius’s letter filled him with so many emotions that he thought he would soon burst. The longing he’d always felt for Sirius intensified, and he also simultaneously laughed and cried while he was reading. The small surge of anger he felt when Sirius all but implied he couldn’t pay his own way died quickly, and Remus found himself chuckling and shaking his head two sentences later. As always, Sirius was the only living being capable of making Remus experience the full range of his emotions.<p>Resolutely, he made his way to the desk, picked up parchment and quill, and started writing down a reply. This time, the words flew out of him.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
    <i>Hello, Sirius,</i>
  </p>
  <p>
    <i>You’re right, and I do apologize for not being in touch for so long. I tried, I swear I did, but something always seemed to happen and in the end I never got around to writing to you or James. I’m sorry I let so much time pass, and I’m happy you decided to take this step now.</i>
  </p>
  <p>
    <i>I missed you and the others, too, and it’s good to hear you’re all doing well. Lily Evans, Minister of Magic. It does have a nice ring to it, and I’m sure she’s doing a fantastic job. And no, not at all surprised to hear that you and James make a living fooling around with Quidditch stuff. Suits the both of you perfectly, I’d say.</i>
  </p>
  <p>
    <i>I am working as an editor at my uncle-in-law’s firm, and I have to say I truly love my job. Unfortunately, Cath is not with us anymore. She died a few years back and we don’t have children. I’m alone, but not lonely. I have friends, and colleagues. I’m content.</i>
  </p>
  <p>
    <i>As it happens, I’ve just been given a new book to work on and the author lives in London. I thought I would communicate with her as I usually do in these cases, by owls and such, but maybe I could make an exception this time and come meet her in person. So while I’m there, we could also see each other. And I can hex you for putting me in the poor house and assuming I can’t get a Portkey for myself!</i>
  </p>
  <p>
    <i>What do you say? Would next week suit? I could stay there for a few days, too. You could organize dinner with James and Lily, and we could all spend some time together. Let me know, okay?</i>
  </p>
  <p>
    <i>You know what? I get where you’re coming from, saying you just realised how much you missed me when you wrote your letter. Well, I always missed you but now I feel it even more…</i>
  </p>
  <p>
    <i>See you soon, I hope.<br/>
Moony</i>
  </p>
</div>Remus gave the letter to his owl, Archibald, before he could change his mind – and maybe delete the last bit – and watched him fly away.<p>Now he only needed to wait for Sirius’s reply.</p><p>*</p><p>“I’m dressed too formally, aren’t I?”</p><p>“Padfoot, please…”</p><p>Sirius ignored James and kept going on about how he shouldn’t have worn robes, and a waistcoat, and his dress shirt. </p><p>“Should’ve gone for casual. This is too.. Too…”</p><p>James stepped in front of Sirius and pulled him in, holding him against his chest. Sirius hugged him back and sighed, relaxing in the embrace.</p><p>“You look as gorgeous as ever, Pads,” James smiled. “Quite shaggable, I’d say.” </p><p>“You know the rules, boys,” Lily said, entering the room and taking in the scene. “If you ever shag, I get to watch.”</p><p>Sirius chuckled stepping back, and James let him go.</p><p>“Didn’t remember that was a rule, Lils,” Sirius winked.</p><p>“Oh, but it is. And it’s not the only one, either. I need advance warning, I get to watch,” Lily counted all the rules on her fingers, “and if the mood strikes I jump in between the two of you. Remember the rules, lads, the rules are there for a reason.”</p><p>James blushed bright red, and Sirius’s eyes glazed over.</p><p>“Prongs? Remind me again: How come we haven’t done it, yet?”</p><p>Lily laughed out loud, and James turned a bit of a glare on Sirius.</p><p>“Shut it, Padfoot. Don’t make me spank you.”</p><p>Lily perked up. “New rule! If Sirius is getting spanked, I get first go!”</p><p>“Wait a minute, why you? What if I want to redden that arse first?” James asked.</p><p>“Oi! There shall be no spanking and no reddening of my arse, you hear?”</p><p>“You mean unless we make it worth your while?” Lily asked, sweetly.</p><p>Sirius’s breath caught in his throat. “Yeah, uhm… That. Maybe. Uh… Prongs? Has your wife always been this kinky or is this a recent development?”</p><p>James blinked owlishly at him from behind his glasses, that to be honest were looking a bit foggy due to his red and sweaty face, and Lily grinned.</p><p>“She’s always been like that if I recall correctly,” someone commented from the door, and Sirius’s neck cricked when he turned quickly to look at the man who’d just arrived.</p><p>“Moony…” </p><p>“Remus!” Lily greeted, happily, and she went to hug her friend. “Sorry we didn’t hear the doorbell ring! Did Ophelia let you in?”</p><p>Ophelia was the Potters’ house elf but she was a free elf, she worked for wages and was more a friend of the family than a servant.</p><p>“She did, yes. I hope I’m not interrupting,” Remus replied, stepping back from Lily’s embrace and looking at Sirius and James with a twinkle in his eye. </p><p>Lily grinned. “Not interrupting at all, Remus,” she said, nodding her head towards Remus as if to invite her husband and Sirius to come forward and greet him properly.</p><p>James was the first to move. He enveloped Remus in another hug and whispered in his ear how happy he was to see him again.</p><p>“Same here, Prongs,” Remus replied when they stepped back from one another, and then he was the one to walk to Sirius.</p><p>“Hey, Pads…”</p><p>“Moony…” Sirius repeated, extending a hand that Remus immediately grasped and used to pull Sirius to himself.</p><p>They held each other for a long time and only broke out of their embrace when James cleared his throat.</p><p>Flushed, Sirius still refused to let go of Remus and kept holding his hand. He was glad when Remus not only didn’t protest but tightened his own hold.</p><p>“Anybody hungry?” James asked, grinning.</p><p>Sirius stuck his tongue out at him, and Lily laughed out loud.</p><p>“Famished,” Remus replied with a smile of his own. “But I meant to ask… Was somebody talking about spankings earlier or…”</p><p>*<br/>
Remus was supposed to only stay in London for a week but he was still there a month later. Since their very first dinner together, Remus and his friends had been basically inseparable. During the day they all went about their businesses as usual but the evenings always saw them together. Sometimes Lily had a late night at the Ministry so James and Sirius were the only ones to keep Remus company – and got him into some mischief or other in honour of the good old times; but there were also times when Sirius and Remus were left alone with one another.</p><p>On one such occasion, Sirius finally found the courage to show Remus the picture he’d found that fateful day. They were sitting together in Grimmauld Place, take-out boxes and a half-finished bottle of Firewisky littering the floor around them, when Sirius suddenly got up, retrieved the photo, and offered it to Remus.</p><p>Remus held it in his hands for a long time, his eyes seemingly taking in even the smallest detail and committing it to memory, and then he looked up and stared at Sirius.</p><p>“In retrospect, it seems so obvious, doesn’t it?”</p><p>“What does?” Remus cocked his head, puzzled and a bit anxious.</p><p>“The way we were… How we behaved with each other… How I felt…”</p><p>“How <i>you</i>… Wait, what are you saying, Sirius?”</p><p>Sirius gestured to the picture that Remus was still holding. “Look at it… Look at us. Does that look like two mates sleeping on top of each other to you? Because I… Because it… It doesn’t to me. Seems more like… Like we were… Together…”</p><p>“Maybe,” Remus conceded. “But you said… Before, you said… How <i>you</i> felt was obvious from this picture, and I… I don’t understand…”</p><p>“Neither did I… Not then. Or maybe I did but I wasn’t ready to talk about it, or even face it. That I might feel… That I might be… Hell, Moons, you’d think that someone who’d already been disowned and abandoned by his family wouldn’t have any issues adding another reason for them to hate him, wouldn’t you? And yet… I don’t know why but I’d rather avoid thinking about it, I’d rather ignore it, hide it, push it down than simply face the truth…”</p><p>“The truth being?” </p><p>Sirius sighed. “I’m bi. And the reason why I started realising it when we were still at Hogwarts was, well, you. How I felt for you,” Sirius pointed to the picture, indicating it as proof of the truth behind his words. “But I wasn’t ready then, so I ignored it. I knew it, I knew deep down that I… that you… But I still ignored it. Was an idiot…”</p><p>“You weren’t the only one,” Remus lowered his head. “And at least you didn’t marry someone else, someone wonderful who truly loved you, while you were instead in love with somebody else.”</p><p>“Shit, Remus,” Sirius closed his eyes. “I’m so sorry… If only I hadn’t been such a chickenshit. If I’d talked to you… If we…”</p><p>“No. No, Sirius. What’s done is done, and to be honest I don’t know if I would want to change the past. Marrying Cath gave me so much, so many gifts that made me the man I am today. She gave me a home, somebody who cared for me, an extended family… Not to mention a job I love and the support I needed when I was experimenting the Wolfsbane in its early stages…”</p><p>Sirius’s mouth shot open. “You’re saying… You offered yourself up as guinea pig for the trials? Remus! I’ve read horror stories about the side-effects of the potion. I can’t even imagine you going through anything like that!”</p><p>“Wasn’t easy, no,” Remus said. “But the rewards… Sirius, if you only knew what I’ve gained by facing all that. What everyone of my kind gained. We went through some very tough times but now… I don’t change anymore, Pads!”</p><p>Sirius’s eyes widened, and Remus nodded.</p><p>“I don’t change. My bones don’t break and my mind doesn’t disappear inside the savagery of the wolf. I’m forced to stay in bed with a fever and some pain, yes, and there’s something else that… Well, I suppose some things remain unavoidable no matter what. But I live a functional life now, and my body won’t fail me sooner than expected due to the monthly stress it used to be burdened with. I should be able to live a normal amount of years, Sirius, and I’ll never run the risk of hurting anyone ever again. Nothing, no amount of pain and suffering I had to endure during trials could ever make me regret volunteering to test the potion!”</p><p>Remus’s words moved Sirius to tears and he grabbed Remus’s hand squeezing it tight.</p><p>“This is… It’s so wonderful, Remus…” Sirius’s voice trembled and he trailed off.</p><p>“It is, yes, and it’s been possible because I was in the right place at the right time. I was in the United States when the trials were taking place and I would never have been there if it hadn’t been for Cath. Of course, in that case I’d have been here, with you… And please, Sirius, believe me when I say I hate that you, and James and Lily, were here fighting a war while I was safe on the other side of the world. I hate it…” Remus looked down.</p><p>Sirius pulled Remus towards him and forced him to look back up. “Don’t you dare feel guilty for something beyond your control, you hear? I’m glad… Fuck, I’m ecstatic that you weren’t here during Voldemort’s reign of terror! Hell, didn’t you hear that he was using Greyback to turn werewolves to his fucked up cause? I can’t even think what could have happened to you had you been here! Besides, I’d have hated to see your reaction to Peter’s betrayal… Wasn’t easy to face, and you were always the one closest to Peter…”</p><p>“Well, there was no getting in between Padfoot and Prongs, so of course Moony and Wormtail had to make do with one another,” Remus tried for a joke to break the tension but, judging by the pain on Sirius’s face, it didn’t work.</p><p>“Did you feel like I was shutting you out?” Sirius asked, horrified. “That you couldn’t.. That you weren’t as important as James?”</p><p>“It’s not that, Sirius…”</p><p>“Tell me the truth, Remus!”</p><p>Remus sighed. “No one is as important as James is for you, Pads, be honest with yourself. It’s the truth, it’s always been so. And before you start protesting, I’m not saying that you shut me out or that you didn’t care about me… Hell, didn’t this conversation start with you confessing your feelings?” Remus nodded towards the picture that had floated to the ground when Sirius first took hold of his hand. “There hasn’t been a single day in our seven years at Hogwarts when you and James haven’t been almost a single entity. And something tells me things haven’t changed all that much now, either…”</p><p>“James,” Sirius started, shaking his head as if to clear it. “He’s like a part of my own self, you’re right about that. I don’t know what happened that first day on the Hogwarts Express between us but it’s almost as if we saw each other and something clicked. From that moment on we were connected by an invisible thread that’s proven to be unbreakable. But, Remus… James loves Lily with his whole heart and yet that thread between us doesn’t suffer for it. Hell, if anything it got stronger with Lily’s addiction. I never thought… I didn’t know that you felt like no one could get in, that James would always be the most important person in my life. That’s not true… Not many can, get in I mean, but you… you were always there. For me <i>and</i> for James. Moony, you… You have your own place in there and it’s untouchable.”</p><p>A solitary tear left Remus’s eye and rolled down his cheek. “Does that mean… Sirius, are you saying that you want… that we can…”</p><p>Instead of replying, Sirius took a chance: He darted forward and captured Remus’s lips in a small, loving kiss. Merely a second later, they were lying on the sofa, kissing like their lives depended on it and with hands that didn’t waste any time in starting to rid one another of the clothes they wore.</p><p>There was, of course, a lot more to discuss, to confess, and to change, but for now Sirius and Remus let their bodies do the talking.</p><p>***</p><p>A small opening in The Veil’s essence sealed shut forever. This was the point of no return for Sirius Black. The reality he chose to erase would forever be lost now that the new one he created for himself fixed itself in the constant of time and space.</p><p>Countless lives were altered by Sirius’s choice, some for the good, others not so much, but that is always the risk when one toys with time. How many lives did Sirius destroy? How many did he change for the better? How much pain did he cause people he never even knew or met or heard of but that had been happy before he meddled? How much love did he take away from them? How much did he fix instead? What did he create for them in return? </p><p>Sirius would never know what he’d done and he’d simply go on living a life devoid of pain, unburdened by everything he’d changed. All things considered, it was better this way: Sirius deserved to be selfish for once after everything he suffered, everything he sacrificed, everything he lost.</p><p>The Veil quivered and the past was forgotten.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>The Back in Time universe is now marked as complete and it could be my last contribution to this wonderful fandom for a while; or maybe for good. Thank you for reading!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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